Crust: Either (a) make from scratch, (b) get the tube of Pillsbury pre-made crust dough, or © use Boboli. Don't get that Grandma Whatever brand – that sucks.

Sauce: Grab a can of crushed tomatoes and add oregano and basil to taste.

Toppings: put crap on there

Baking:

• Preferably cook on a pizza stone instead of a pan – a pizza stone can be just a $3 big floor tile from the hardware store.
• If using scratch or Pillsbury dough, cook 500 degrees for 5-10 minutes. For Boboli, do what the package says.